I gained about 5 pounds over the past few weeks. I guess stress makes me eat more (shocker!) but I’ve also only been able to make it to about 1 kung fu class a week which is totally lame. I really love going, and I need to make an effort to go more often… even though The Husband makes me feel guilty for leaving him with The Child. He’ll never verbalize that, though, heavens no… but after 9 years I can read his passive aggressive undertones like a dictionary. Anyhoo, lose this blubber I must. No more salted caramels, peach cake, or Utz potato chips. At least not often.

My dreams have taken a very boring turn lately. It’s often the case during summer, but there really hasn’t been a whole lot of excitement in Slumberland. The oddest dream I could muster came earlier in the week when I dreamt of flat ironing my hair with Zac Efron as my audience. He was complaining about how Vanessa Hudgens broke his heart when she ran off with an older guy, but I wasn’t really paying attention to him because my hair was too wet to flat iron properly. He showed me where I could find a hair dryer, only whenever I turned it on, it also activated the internet and dialed 911. So I had to be careful. Yeah. WTF. I’m looking forward to Fall and Winter when my dreams tend to be more lucid and impactful. Maybe it’s the endless weeks of 90+ degree weather that shrivel my creative subconscious.

The Husband sent me flowers today. Lilies. They’re going to smell so strong once they fully open and I’ll probably have to move them off of my desk because they’ll give me an allergy attack. Funny, during all of the charades we’ve struggled through lately, one of my silent wishes was, “Fight for me, do something, send me flowers, anything!” and now that they’re here, I’m all…. meh. Achoo! Oh, there was that box of chocolates from Asheville, too. A fat chick with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose will be SO hot to potential suitors!

Yeah… I need to work out more.