didn’t flow perfectly so it will be described in chunks:

my friend was pregnant (with the son she has now) and we were hanging out and she showed me that she was lactating already.  i said she really shouldnt do that because it could bring on labor.  then she showed me the scar from her amniocentesis.  it looked like a little pucker from where the needle went in.  i guess we were laying in bed together when all of this was happening.  all of a sudden she said she felt like she had to pee, and then we looked down and her water broke in a big gush.  it splashed on my leg.  her husband was there and whisked us off to the hospital.  on the way, we got stopped by the po-po for speeding.  my friend got out of the car and screamed, “I AM IN LABOR!” so the cop let us go.  and then she had her son and he was born looking exactly like he does right now, which is almost a year old.

i was flying in a small plane (like a 4-seater) and the pilot said he wanted to take a look at the hurricane.  we flew over an area that looked gorgeous from the air – a beautiful, green coastline.  then we saw clouds gathering and the pilot took us up and over so we wouldnt hit any turbulence.  we flew over the clouds and we could see them spinning, and had a perfect view of the eye of the storm.

i went with another friend to get her hair done.  she wanted to cut it short and dye it red.  i was waiting with her while she was sitting in the stylist’s chair.  i had to go down the block to the store, so i borrowed an outfit from one of the guys (um.. drag queens) who hung out at the salon.  it was a denim skirt with snaps up the side.  i had trouble pulling it up over my big ass but i finally got it on.  they clapped for me once it fit.  i drove down the street to the store and went inside.  it was really crowded and the aisles were narrow.  i had to walk through an outdoor maze to get inside the store, but all of the fresh produce was outside, so you had to pick up what you needed there and carry it inside before you were able to get a cart.  the selection was incredible… tons of exotic fruits and vegetables.  i got passion fruit, papaya, jicama, plantains, starfruit, mangoes and a lot of weird mushrooms.  Finally I got inside and found some corn tortillas.  i picked them up and noticed a guy next to me knock over a big box of wooden skewers.  they went all over the floor, and then he took off.  one of the workers got upset and shouted for the person who knocked it over to clean it up.  everyone looked at me because i was standing right by where it happened.  even though i didn’t do it, i started to pick them up anyway.

that’s it!

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