Nothing else is on… I hardly ever watch this crap, but I figured I may as well lend my thoughts to the blogosphere.  I seriously doubt I will stay awake for the whole thing.  Anyhoo, here goes:

  • U2.  Still old.
  • Whitney Houston was backstage with Michael Phelps. Bitch is HIIIIIIIIIIIGH!
  • Jennifer Hudson forgot to untuck her dinner napkin.  God bless her but WTF is she wearing?!
  • Justin Timberlake just fucked up Al Green’s lyrics.  Just another reason why he has no business sharing the stage with someone whose career peaked before he was born.
  • Wait, Boys 2 Men and Keith Urban?  Really?
  • Coldplay sounds really good… I may have to become a fan after all.
  • For the love of all that’s holy why the fuck did they let that fool share the stage with Chris Martin?  Shut up, Jay-Z fans, that was unwatchable.
  • British men are impossibly adorable.
  • Carrie Underpants:  Warrior Princess.
  • Country music makes my ears bleed.  As does Katy Perry.
  • Adele got nominated!!  Hooray!
  • Wow, Coldplay’s Joe Satriani rip-off won.  Hunh.
  • Kid Rock.  Good time for me to go change the sheets on the bed.
  • Seriously, bamboo sheets are the softest things known to man.
  • Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus.  Shudder.  Redeeming quality: that guitar is pretty cool.
  • I know my friend Dana is happy that Robert Plant and Alison Krause won.  Whew, finally some talent to appease the oldsters!
  • Thank God Jennifer Hudson changed out of her napkin dress.  She’s glitterous.  Really has an amazing set of pipes.
  • Previews of what’s coming up… dang, I don’t know if I can make it through this, folks.  This is a heckuva lot of CRAP.  Kenny Chesey?  Jonas Bros.?   T.I. ??  You know they’ll save Radiohead until the last second but I’m already wary about my Rock Gods sharing the same venue as 95% of the other artists.
  • Does Jason Mraz have a giant hematoma or a bald spot that he has to cover up with all those hats?
  • Stevie Jonas?   Bad delivery.
  • Oh Stevie how I wish you had sight during this very moment.  My aforementioned good buddy Dana says, “If Stevie Wonder could see what these panty waists looked like he would not be doing this”.  I concur.
  • My bones hurt right now and my senses are dessicated.  Why?  Oh, the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder on the same stage.  Right.
  • Yeah, taking back that “I think I should be a Coldplay fan” comment.
  • Please God Please God Please God don’t let Lil Wayne perform with Radiohead.
  • Good gravy… Scottish accents make me moist.
  • I’m missing Big Love for this?!
  • Mother of God that looks like a giant gold suppository.
  • I really and truly do NOT like Katy Perry.  Plus, she should be wearing heels.  Plus plus, so obviously lip synching… at least TRY to fake it.
  • Kanye West, also glitterous.
  • I wonder if Kanye’s 1988 Eddie Murphy natural hair poof will make a comeback with today’s youth.
  • Adele again!  Woot!  Holy shit she WON.  Color me surprised.
  • Does Morgan Freeman have a fake hand?
  • Kenny Chesney isn’t so bad when the TV is on mute.
  • Oh we’re back to Sean D. Coombs now?  Make up yo damn mind, foo’, I’m just gonna call you Dumbass, because obviously you are too good for the Grammys to wear anything nicer than jeans.
  • Queen Latifah looks fabulous – best dressed of the night so far!
  • GOOD LORD I give M.I.A. bucketloads of credit for being out there on her due date.  My fat ass could barely roll off the toilet when I was that pregnant.
  • Paul McCartney and Dave Grohl… brilliance among brilliance.
  • What’s with the stuffed husky dog on the speakers?
  • Coming up, Adele and Sugarland.  One of my faves meets shit that makes my ears bleed.  This should be interesting.
  • Charlie who?  Best bass player ever?  He’s no Jaco Pastorius.
  • LL in the HOUSE!  He’ll still be sexy when he’s 90.  As long as nothing happens to his lips.
  • Okay, okay, Sugarland chick has an incredible voice… slightly too twangy for me, but very impressive.  Katy Perry, take a lesson:  THIS is real singing.  Bring on Adele now, please.
  • Ah, much better.  But I thought they were doing a duet?
  • Adele can really do a lot better than this.
  • Ah, there’s my duet, but seriously why does she have to sing Adele’s song?  Off with you!
  • Definitely thinking Radiohead will be last.  I have a headache… not sure I can sit through Justin Timberflake and Neil Diamond…
  • Gwyenth Paltrow is proving that tonight is all about the glitter.
  • OMG RADIOHEAD THANK YOU JESUS.
  • Those marching band kids:  luckiest people alive right now.
  • So fucking awesome.  I haven’t enjoyed a Grammy performance this much since Ricky Martin shaked his hot little fruity ass all those years ago.
  • Nothing else to stay up for, hope you enjoyed my commentary… thanks for tuning in.  Going to dream about being Thom Yorke’s muse.

Alright, how did you feel about the Grammys?  Did I miss anything noteworthy after Radiohead’s performance?  Please share your comments!

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