January 2010

she’s gone.

October 16, 1913 – January 28, 2010


My Nana is dying.  My other mother.  She is 97 years old and has had one heck of a life, but God how this hurts… she would not want me to cry for her.  She is so strong.  Lord, you are getting one incredible woman in Your kingdom… I just wish I could give her one last hug and kiss, and remind her that I will make her apple pie recipe every single Thanksgiving for the rest of my life.  I love you, Nana Banana.

**Update! The winning ink is actually a combination of the first and second place winners.  I’m getting a phoenix with a string of wildflowers in its beak, for my Nana who loved her flower gardens.  A four-leafed clover will be drawn into the flowers for my Mom.  I go for session 1 (the outline) on Feb. 23. PSYCHED!!  Thanks to all who voted!**

My darling husband has offered to purchase my next tattoo as a gift for my upcoming birthday.  Since I have several ideas bumping around at once, I’m using a lifelife and asking the audience.

Idea #1: Something to commemorate my children, possibly just their names in fancy font. Alone or with symbols/animal representations of their zodiac signs (Scorpion and Lion, would have to search online for sample pics). Potential problem here could be if I have a third child… would have to allow for expansion!  Location would be around my right calf, where a piece of flash already exists (hoping I can cover that up or incorporate it into the new design).  Willing to compromise, as I really would love to have my boys’ names done.

Idea #2: A phoenix. I’ve wanted this tattoo for years now. A colorful, fantasy-like phoenix on my left calf, with long tailfeathers snaking around my ankle down onto the top of my foot. I love the symbolism of the phoenix; since I’ve been through my share of tragedy and crisis, it would be very poignant. Pitfalls… this might be the most expensive given the size and amount of color.

Idea #3: Something to commemorate my mother, since she’s ill at the moment… and I’ve always wanted a way to show her and my grandmother how much I love them.  My mom has a thing for four-leafed clovers, and both she and my Nana love birds and flowers. My Nana’s house had a gorgeous clematis vine that grew long and lush around her front door, in deep purple blossoms.  I could see something like that climbing around my leg.  Problem is, this idea and the phoenix idea are using the same piece of real estate on my body.  And I kinda want to get just a four-leafed clover on my chest in the same spot where my mom’s port is that is used for her chemo treatments.  I think maybe I’m too close too this issue at the moment.  Hmm…

Idea #4: The dragon from the inside cover of Stephen King’s The Eyes of the Dragon novel.  This book was possibly my first favorite “grown-up” book (graduated from Judy Blume to Stephen King, so I read this a looooong time ago).  I always have and always will be attached to the mystical side of my imagination. I believe in faeries and woodland sprites and tree dryads and all of the other endless array of probably made-up-stuff that I hope will be real when I get to Heaven.  Anyhoo, this dragon is my favorite and he’d go on my right shoulder, slightly casading down to my upper arm. I’d need a good artist to elaborate on what already exists in the sample drawing:  Click here for a sample image

So what do you guys think?  More importantly, anyone know super talented tattoo artists in the Charlotte or Asheville, NC areas?

Vote now, and thanks!

So You Think You Can Make Some Small Amount of Money Doing Something You Love


Well yeah, I do, is that so wrong? I am hankering to get going but haven’t yet found the right push, whether it be found internally and emotionally or through some not-yet identified benefactor.  I want to live. I am ready to live… grasp the proverbially bull by the horns, but right now life seems to be against me, like, way over there in that other guy’s corner. Can I get life to just drop by for a minute, lend me an ear, and even throw me a crumpled up buck or two? I am really, really tired of pain. Of disappointment and crisis and settlement. It’s always me, me, me, woe is me, woe are the things that get fucked up and stuck and make me say things like “woe is me”. I do know it’s not all about me, that’s not what I mean here… just that I would like to be an expert at something other than dealing with catastrophe and hurt. I want to SHINE and rise and sing and explode with a light so bright it makes you wish you brought your sunglasses. C’mon, world, let me live. Let me smile and dance and learn and create. Let me BE.

Cause I’ve had enough of your shit.