dreams


Okay, internet.  These dreams of mine have been off. the. hizzy.  If you’ve ever read about my dreams here you know they’re a bit, well, NUTS.  Lately they’ve been nuts-er.  On we go:

crap, i will have to leave you in suspense for now, mommyhood calls.  fuckity. will get back to this, i promise.

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I have been majorly slacking here. Shit I have a 6 week old baby, life’s a bit… NUTS. Been having some wacked out crazy intense sicko dreams though, and once I get my head out of the myriad of poopy diapers I will elaborate on some. Thanks for reading, those of you who still check in on me! More to come soon as my life is about to take another major shift in the next few weeks. Hot damn and hallelujah!

hello blogoverse, it’s been a while… i am back with one of the strangest dreams i’ve had in a very long time.  i IM’d my friend about the whole thing, and i am too lazy and too pregnant to edit it and make it flow better… i extend my apologies for the lack of panache, but i’m just going to copy the IM conversation here (i’ve deleted my friend’s replies so this is all me, Luna2278).

Ya might want to get some coffee, this is a weird one:

Luna2278: ok so i had possibly one of the strangest dreams i’ve had in a very long time
Luna2278: happened this morning… i had bad insomnia last night and didnt get to sleep until after 2am.. then woke up at 6:45… so i came downstairs and fell back to sleep on the couch for about 2 hours and thats when i had the dream
Luna2278: this dream is like… seriously out there
Luna2278: ready?  its long
Luna2278: so.  it started off i was at a resort on vacation.  it was really crowded and i was out laying by the pool.  i got up to use the bathroom and passed by this one part of the pool where all these sexy hot guys were diving in and swimming.  was nice.  i think maybe because i watched True Blood, they all looked like Eric…
Luna2278: so anyway, i go inside and use the restroom, and then bump into a friend on the walk back to the pool area.  it was a younger male friend, felt like a younger cousin or something in the dream, but not someone i know in real life
Luna2278: i’m with this kid and we start walking down a flight of stairs.. and here is where it gets REALLY WEIRD
Luna2278: coming up the stairs is like an army of hundreds of people, all in their late teens/early 20’s.  they were separated into two groups, one wearing solid royal blue jumpsuits and behind them was a group wearing white jumpsuits. they were being led around by guards with walkie talkies and those police baton things, and both groups were in straight lines and walking in formation, with total blank stares on their faces
Luna2278: we stopped walking and they all stopped walking when we saw each other, and one of the guards came up to us and we said we needed to get by… he said OK he would radio down to the guy at the end that he was sending 2 kids through who needed safe passage and an escort at the other side
Luna2278: but we sort of knew about these groups, like they were in the news recently or something…
Luna2278: so we head downstairs only when we get to the bottom i guess the other guard didnt get the message because he grabbed us and threw us in line and started yelling, etc
Luna2278: so we sort of got absorbed by the crowd and followed them into some giant room… we were trying to blend in though so we could avoid being seen which we thought would help us escape later, like they would be watching us
Luna2278: so we end up in this HUGE room, like an empty warehouse.  i had one a white hooded sweatshirt so i stayed with the white group.  everyone was told to stay in line but get down on the ground and start doing pushups
Luna2278: so im down there with my hood up, trying not to be seen, but i was separated from my friend
Luna2278: i was listening for the guards so i could look up and try to find him
Luna2278: then i heard a commotion and something slide across the room, the guards found him trying to escape
Luna2278: so i took that distraction to try to get away myself, i ust bolted up and ran for the nearest door
Luna2278: but i guess i chose poorly b/c i ended up in the guards offices
Luna2278: now it gets even weirder
Luna2278: i bumped into the head honcho guy, and i was scared, but he was actually sort of nice… but commanding.  hard to describe.  he reminded me of Morpheus from the matrix
Luna2278: and he said it took a lot of nerve to do what i did, and that he thought i was “special”
Luna2278: and said that i was also in the wrong group, i should have been assigned to the blue group, not the white group
Luna2278: so he leads me down this hallway, and he’s lecturing me about what it means to be in the blue group, and what things i have in store for me and what i will learn, etc
Luna2278: it felt like underground tunnels, but like very futuristic, sort of like a spaceship
Luna2278: then he says “watch what u will be able to do someday” and he holds his hands out in front of him and makes the walls shift and all of the metal doors move, some of them get sucked in like a black hole and he just controls it with his hands and makes it move
Luna2278: and all the metal on the walls and doors are spiraling around and changing colors
Luna2278: and he like, opened or created a new room down there
Luna2278: so then we walk forward and i’m in an all white room.  floors, walls, ceilings, etc
Luna2278: and he says it’s time for me to start learning
Luna2278: i get chained to a corner, on the floor.  in front of me is this panel, also all white, with 4 glass circles on it.  like a circle in each corner of this white square
Luna2278: so what i’m told to do is sort of like whack-a-mole.. lol.. each time a glass circle appears (they come up from the floor) i have to touch it with my hands
Luna2278: when i get it right the center glows red for a second and then it disappears
Luna2278: and i am left there to do this for DAYS.  chained to the floor in a white room touching these glass circles that come up from the floor
Luna2278: when he first left me there i was panicked, like “wtf you cant leave me here” but i had nothing else to do so i just did what i was told
Luna2278: some time passed and he came back to check on my progress.  i could feel that something changed inside of me and i was accepting of what i was doing
Luna2278: and he said i did well, and then held his hand over the panel again and up from the floor came one big glass circle.  he told me to hold my hand over it.. i did and it shattered… more like, disintegrated
Luna2278: and i looked at him like, “Wow, i did it!” and he smiled and said i was learning to control the elements
Luna2278: and that the blue group was metal.  we gave off some type of energy that produced so much metal that it shattered glass.  yeah no idea how that makes sense but hey, it was a dream…
Luna2278: the white group was glass
Luna2278: somehow i got out of the room and was back in the “real world”
Luna2278: yeah.. so it sort of felt like i was in college, or on some college campus.  i was going to a friends house…
Luna2278: there was a party there, more like a dinner party than a college party.. more adult like
Luna2278: people were standing around sipping wine and eating finger food
Luna2278: i was there and was looking for my frfiend, who was the daughter of the people who were hosting the party
Luna2278: something in the air changed and “activated” this new thing that i had learned, because my body suddenly started buzzing and i knew i had to get out of there
Luna2278: so im trying to make my way through the crowd and then glass starts shattering around me.  i knew it was b/c of this metal thing i had learned
Luna2278: wine glasses started turning into dust and there was a huge wall of glass block that disintegrated
Luna2278: and the guests were freaking out but the parents/hosts used to be in the white group when they were younger and they knew what was going on.
Luna2278: so im trying to run out of the place before i do anymore damage, and they start running after me with these big sticks of chalk.. and they’re rubbing them together to get the chalk dust to block my metal energy
Luna2278: but everything around me that isnt glass is turning to metal
Luna2278: the walls, fixtures, decorations, etc.. its like as i pass by they’re turning to metal
Luna2278: eventually i get out of there and i sort of take off into the air, like i am flying… and im gliding over streets and traffic and cars, and see a huge shopping mall
Luna2278: i head for the mall b/c i know it’s safe for me to be there, i cant damage anythiung
Luna2278: and i feel relieved
Luna2278: finally i stopped to rest on the roof of the mall and i somehow knew that my friend was looking for me.  i started walking around and climbed onto some traintracks that were next to the mall (it felt a lot like the mall in massapequa which is next to the LIRR)
Luna2278: and i saw my friend on the ground, looking up at me.. and she started climbing up to get to me
Luna2278: and when she got close we kept climbing, and part of the train tracks turned into this huge bridge
Luna2278: we were holding onto the sides of the bridge, just walking and walking higher and higher, and we started singing “you’ll never walk alone”
Luna2278: and when we got to the climax of the song, we reached the top of the bridge, and you could see the nyc skyline, like it was the throgs neck bridge or something
Luna2278: it was nighttime and all the lights were on, it was very pretty
Luna2278: next, we somehow got down and i realized that the police were looking for me.  i told my friend to leave b/c i had to start running
Luna2278: and i run down the train tracks into this underground area, sort of like the midtown tunnel where cars are lined up waiting to pay the toll
Luna2278: and my metal thing was coming back.. as i ran by the cars all of the windshields shattered and glass flew everywhere
Luna2278: i knew that my power was strong but i hadnt learned how to control it
Luna2278: but i didnt want to get caught either
Luna2278: i was way ahead of the police so i found this parking garage, and inside was a ramp… i started running up the ramp and it got narrower and narrower until eventually it stopped, it just spiraled into a dead end
Luna2278: but i waited there b/c i knew i was safe and couldnt damage anything, and no one would find me.
Luna2278: the end.

had a couple koo-koo dreams last night.  pretty much all over the place but they seemed to share a common theme of loss, fear, and children.  here goes, probably not in sequential order:

dreamt that my friend Laura was on death row.  well.. not quite death row in the sense that she was in a maximum security prison and shackled to a cement wall, but she had been wrongly accused of some sort of moral/ethical crime by a very extreme religious right person.  it felt sort of like the government as we know it ceased to exist and there was a new way of judging and incriminating people.  in this case, it was an older man who was an extreme right-wing, Bible-thumping freak.  anyhoo, she was being held in some type of a facility similar to a prison, but she was able to have her belongings with her and would write notes and letters about what she was going through.  she was being held there because she had been accused of stealing water from a home with a new baby, by somehow tapping into the home’s water supply and rerouting it somewhere else… the religious dude who imprisoned her was on a rampage about how she was trying to kill the baby, and how insignificant my friend Laura’s life was in comparison to this new life… the thing is, Laura didn’t do it.  I don’t really know how to describe the situation, only that she was going to be put to death because she attempted to make her life seem more important in the public eye versus the life of a newborn baby.  But again, she was innocent, and I don’t know how I knew that, but I did.  During her stay in this prison-thing, I was desperately trying to get her out and prove that she did not belong there.  I was writing letters to the committees that were in charge, and making phone calls, and organizing people, et cetera.  Unfortunately, it seemed like my efforts were in vain… at one point I saw Laura in handcuffs being escorted outside where she was to meet her “punishment”.  I was deeply upset and frustrated that all of the work I had put in to save her had been for naught… but finally, in one last ditch effort, I wrote a letter pleading straight to the guy in charge that Laura should be set free.  I ran over to where Laura was being held, she was wearing a brown jumpsuit and was crying, and being held on both sides by two burly looking bodyguard types.  There was another administrative person overseeing the events, and I handed him the note.  He read it, and nodded, and said that Laura should be let go until the head religious dude could consider what I had said.  So Laura was unlocked and she ran over to me, and we got the hell out of there.  We were both blubbering messes, cause Laura was so sure she was going to die and had been trying to come to terms with it, and I had been working so tirelessly to prove her innocence.  Finally, I get a letter from the head dude saying that although he let Laura go, she would still be judged in the eyes of Jesus and it would not be long before fate caught up with her.  The letter was a combination of sloppy penmanship, words typed with a typewriter and whited-out sentences.  I was surprised that someone so “official” would send out such shoddy work.  Anyway, that was pretty much all for that part.  I didn’t care what the guy wrote in his letter because Laura was free.

Another dream, I was hanging out in an apartment building/high-rise with my virtual friend Cecily.  Suddenly, an earthquake/hurricane/some-sort-of-natural-disaster hit, and the building lost power and began to shake.  Cecily high-tailed it out of the apartment and told me to follow, she was going to take the stairs out.  We were on a pretty high floor, so we knew it would take a while.  She left first and I followed soon after, but long enough to not be able to see her in front of me.  There was no one else around.  As I was walking down the stairs I saw a copy machine on one of the landings… and I went over to it and lifted the top, only to see there was a large roll of film attached on the inside and I had just exposed it to light.  I slammed the top shut and then felt badly that I had ruined someone’s roll of film… not sure why, but I decided right then to develop it.  I hit a button on the machine and it spat out 4 different images, all very large prints (about 16×20 if not larger).  Of course being that the power was out, I really don’t know how the machine worked, but hey – it was a dream.  Dream magic.  Anyway, I continued downstairs and at the bottom floor was a subway line.  I waited for a train and then got on, and it took me a little ways and I ended up in what looked like a basement or bomb shelter.  Cecily was there waiting for me.  I sat down next to her and showed her the pictures I had developed… I knew they wouldn’t be of such great quality since I had fogged the film, but they were surprisingly pretty good.  They were all of me, which I found strange because I didn’t recall anyone taking my picture.  One of them had me and my sister sitting side-by-side on playground swings.  Cecily took one of the shots of me alone and started to draw a frame around it.  At the bottom, she wrote a couple of things about how much we like Dunkin Donuts caramel lattes.  I’m chalking that last bit up to dreams that truly don’t make any fucking sense because not only do I not like those frou-frou types of blended coffee drinks, but I would NEVER order one from Dunkin Donuts.  Zech.  So that was that.

Another part, I was sitting next to Ellen Degeneres and she was telling me how she was pregnant, but she lost the baby at 14 weeks.  I was very obviously pregnant, so I felt a little bit guilty… and I could see she had tears in her eyes, but I didn’t know what to say.  All I did was rub her shoulder and say “I am so sorry, I’ve lost a baby before, too.  I know how hard it is… I am so sorry”.

The last big dream I had involved my best friend Liz and her middle son Matthew, who is about the same age as my son, Jackson.  I was visiting Liz and her family for the weekend.  She lived in Brooklyn (totally not true IRL), sort of on the edge of a bad neighborhood, but she was raving about her town and how much she loved living there.  We took Matthew to a playground that was behind a school.  It was a beautiful day and we were sitting on a bench chatting, watching her son play.  Every now and then I would go over and play with Matthew, telling him what a big boy he was and how tall he was for his age, much taller than my son.  After some time, the school we were near let out for recess, and a ton of kids poured into the playground.   Some of the kids were older, and Liz and I were wondering what they were doing there, since they seemed very obviously out of place.  They were also obviously from the “bad part” of the neighborhood.  Liz turned to me and said we should leave, because Matthew doesn’t do well in large crowds.  We got up to go, only we couldn’t find Matthew.  He had disappeared amongst the throngs of school children.  Naturally, Liz panicked, and I did, too, only I held my shit together a tiny bit more.  We were both running all over the playground looking for him, calling his name… and then I told Liz that I was going to go inside the school and call 911, and see if I could gather some teachers to help with the search.  She said OK, so I went inside.  When I got in, I realized that the “bad kids” had taken over the administration.  There were no teachers or responsible adults anywhere.  At first I was taken aback, because even though these kids were teenagers, they were very obviously gang members and most of them were armed.  When they saw me enter, I had guns pointed to my face and I was shouted at, demanded to know what I was doing there.  I held my hands up but since my concern for Matthew was still taking precedence, I did not show my fear and I spoke sternly to them that I had an emergency and I needed to call for help.  The first group let me go and pointed to where I could find a phone.  I had to walk through a couple of different rooms to get to the phone, and each time I was met with the same confrontation (apparently they didn’t communicate with each other that I was passing through).  Finally I got to the phone and called 911, who said they would send help.  I was able to get back out faster, and when I reached the playground, the crowd had thinned out but Liz was also gone.  I ran around now calling for both Liz and Matthew.  I ran out of the gate that surrounded the playground and started down the street a ways.  I turned a corner, and there was Liz, along with her son.  Her face was tear-stained but relieved, and Matthew was fine but he looked guilty… she told me that when the other boys and girls came out to play, he got scared and started walking home.  Liz had met up with him and were on their way back to explain to me what had happened.  I was completely relieved, but still quite shaken by the events.  I kneeled down and gave Matthew a hug and told him how scared he had made me and his Mommy.  His big brown eyes looked back and me and I knew he had felt badly about it, but it was all water under the bridge now.  He was safe.

Dream over.

My son woke up crying around 2:30am.  I went into his room and he said he had a bad dream, and could he sleep with Mommy and Daddy.  Of course he could.  I asked a silent plea to whatever what giving him bad dreams to stop and give it to me, instead.  I ending up having a pretty awful nightmare, which I’ll detail below… and when I woke up and couldn’t fall back to sleep since it was stuck in my head, and there was the addition of my son laying diagonally on my pillow.  I didn’t want to disturb him so I went and slept in the guest room.

In my dream, I was in my house (only didnt look like it) and there was an announcement from the government that due to environmental threats, they were going to drop a nuclear bomb in the nearby lake.  Everyone was told to evacuate, if they could.  I was walking around the house packing things that I would take with me when we fled.  I remember grabbing odd things like socks and stuffing them in a big paper bag.  My son wasn’t in the dream, which was good, but my husband was, and I asked him if he thought we would be safe in our secret room (the weird thing is, I have recurring dreams about secret rooms in the house ALL the time.  At least once a week).  Anyway, he said he had forgotten about the room and thought we should check it out.  It was through our garage in a little door that we had to bend down to get through, but it was a full-size room once we got in.  Hubby said he didn’t think it was safe since we could see outside.  So we went to leave, and when we got back to the main house, it looked like the whole thing had gone up in flames…. the wood was all charred and embers were still glowing.  I was shocked and scared, thinking the bomb had already gone off, but Hubby said no, it wasn’t scheduled to go off until later, it must have been something else.  So we made our way through the house and got into the car, we were going to go to my Mom’s to hide in her basement, or pick them up and find some other community bomb shelter… we hadn’t exactly decided.  I was so panicked the whole way in the car, and we passed some things that made us think the bomb had gone off but my husband said no, it was scheduled to be dropped at 9:00 and it wasn’t 9 yet.  I looked at the clock and saw it was 8:53 and we only had a few minutes, somehow I thought it was scheduled for 10:00.  I started really panicking then, saying the was no way we were going to make it, and I was looking out the windows and people who had accepted it and were standing outside on rooftops and in parking lots waiting for the inevitable.  I was crying and shaking and saying to Hubby over and over, “I’m so scared, I’m so scared…”  and then I woke up before anything happened.  Ugh.  It was a doozy.  But at least my baby slept better once he was in our bed… poor little guy.

Later on, after I moved to the guest room, I had dreams about having sex with Jake Bronstein.  Mmm hm!

well, i really should have blogged about this when it happened, since it was about 5 nights ago now and my memory has the dream all fuzzy and dim.  nonetheless, it was a weird dream, so i figured i’d post.

i was in a forest with a couple dozen other people (strangers, all around my age).  we were tasked to ascend to some higher plane of existence.  in doing so, our souls would merge with others around us, based on some law of compatibility.  sort of like, which couple or group of people would make a better soul if all parts were combined into one.  we were being instructed by a disembodied voice; some greater evolved soul that was orchestrating our event.  i don’t know who or what it was, only that it was female.  what we had to do was form a huddle and close our eyes and come up with as many words to describe our planet and our human race as we could.  once we reached a certain “quota”, we’d be there.  sort of like some colossal game of Mad Libs.  anyway, a large portion of the dream was without any imagery… it was all black, just words and voices swirling around with all of the adjectives and nouns that we could muster.  i recall my contribution was “atmosphere”, and it was one of the last words accepted by this leader-spirit-woman.  everything clicked then, and we were more or less in the same area as we had been in the forest, only now we had moved some and were on the edge of a lake.  i was laying facedown in the sand, like i had crash-landed there, and the water from the lake was lapping up all around me.  the water was bright orange.  i raised my head and i saw a man and a woman standing on the shore, smiling blissfully at each other.  i felt instantly jealous, and i don’t really know why.  i could tell that my soul had merged with 3 others… two older men and a young woman.  i suppose i wanted to be linked to the man on the shore somehow, but it wasn’t meant to be.  i wasn’t happen with the souls that mine had joined with, but overall i was pleased that we succeeded in the whole “soul ascension” project.

the end.  kinda bizarre.

had a dream last night that i was with a friend/co-worker in my old neighborhood in Long Island.  she said something felt uncomfortable and she had to excuse herself to take care of it.  i asked what it was, and she said it was her testicles (which, in the dream, was a perfectly normal thing for a female to possess).  i recommended that she see a doctor instead of taking care of it herself, but she assured me she could handle it and walked off to the side of the road, where there was a piece of old plywood leaning against a tree.  i followed her moments later to discover her lying on the ground, sheltered by the piece of wood.  She had cut her balls off with a pair of kitchen scissors.  i was pretty horrified that she was able to do so without screaming or losing consciousness.  she agreed that it hurt, but it wasn’t unbearable and there wasn’t too much blood.   i could see on her body where they once were, and i agreed she did a fine job and it would probably heal on its own.

what the fuck, dude!!

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