musings


Stuff* is really happening! Maybe my wish will come true and I’ll have the means necessary to write more, but for now I’ll have to be content with the occasional blog post. Have I ever told you about how much I love bullet points? No? Well, I really love bullet points. The lists that follow the points, that is. I think my brain is wired to function in two modes: bulleted lists and hazy, dreamy, abstract thoughts like distant, muted watercolors. Truly opposite ends of the subconscious spectrum. I have trouble putting my long rambles into words, so when they do surface, they appear like nerdy little Excel spreadsheets. Except when I go on and on and on… like bulleted essay question responses. Am I even making any fucking sense at all? Whatever, here is the *stuff:

  • I had arthroscopic knee surgery earlier this month for a torn meniscus, but when the docs got in there, they found not a torn meniscus but something called “plica”, also known as “synovial plica syndrome”.  The definition of this wacky thing is even wackier: it’s tissue that was supposed to have gone away during fetal development, but for speculative reasons, decided to stick around.  Chances are, plica will mind its own business and no one will be the wiser, but sometimes it can act up and get inflamed and irritated and cause all sorts of pain, et cetera, which is what happened to me.  So they took it out, and now I’m recovering.  Recovery is slow-going since my job as Mommy doesn’t allow for a whole lot of rest/sitting down, but physical therapy and pain meds are helping.  Hopefully I’ll be able to return to martial arts training someday and not feel old and creaky. Moving on…
  • I applied for college!  I’m 32 years old and haven’t been in school for 12 years (ouch, that was a painful realization), and it took me that long to finally decide what I want to be when I grow up.  I haven’t completely settled on the end result of what the “I want to be…” equation, but suffice it to say the field has been narrowed down and I am heretofore on the way of becoming something other than Mommy. A couple things led me to apply…
  • Anyone who has read my blog at all knows that my Mom has cancer. In helping her fight the disease, I try to cook/bake anything for her that she wants.  The disease itself has, in part, been related to her diet.  Now that she’s in treatment, certain food items have been blacklisted because of vitamin content or other concerns.  However, she has lost so much weight and really needs to fatten up.  Of course she indulges a bit, which is fine since she rarely has any appetite to begin with, but it’s a struggle to find healthy and nourishing food that has plenty of calories and fat without too much of the negative.  SO – my mission is to make her feel as good as I can, since this disease has me feeling helpless anyway, and has given me a new perspective on cancer as a whole.  If I can play any part in improving the quality of life of cancer patients through food, I can’t think of much else I’d rather do.
  • Further along the food chain comes another issue that’s been near and dear to my heart: food allergies. I’ve had a few myself that seem to have disappeared over time, but my 4-year old has been suffering from food allergies since birth (Jackson is allergic to dairy, eggs and peanuts).  Hopefully he will outgrow some, if not all of his allergies, but needless to say he’s kept us pretty busy with reading labels and menus and having confrontations with childcare workers (ugh).  Luckily, we’ve never had to use the epi-pen that we keep with us at all times, but we’ve had to break out the benadryl more times than I care to remember.  I thought that by watching my diet during my pregnancy with Liam, breastfeeding him exclusively and delaying solid foods until 6 months (and some longer, I know), I would be able to save him from a life of being the kid who couldn’t eat birthday cake and goldfish crackers.  Unfortunately, several triggers have appeared in the past few weeks, and the diagnosis has confirmed that my two boys will be food allergy buddies with the exception of dairy (Jax is allergic, Liam is not) and wheat (just Liam).  I confess, a wheat allergy has been my WORST nightmare.  I will refrain from bitching about it, though.  It is what it is.  What is also is, is FUCKING EXPENSIVE.  $6.99 for a minuscule loaf of wheat-free loaf of bread?! Puh-lease! But I said I wouldn’t bitch, and I won’t, because all of these diet-related maladies have lead me to pursue a career in Nutritional Science…
  • If I am accepted, I’m expecting to be, I will begin my studies toward a degree as a Dietary Technician in the Fall.  It’s an Associates Degree program, but the only one in the state certified by the American Dietetic Association.  If I love it, I’ll keep on keepin’ on and one day become a Registered Dietician (or Nutritionist, if you will).  I’m happy about this path.  I’ve toyed with enrolling in culinary school for about a decade now, but I never wanted to work in a restaurant.  I couldn’t see the point of investing all of that time, money and energy into culinary school if I wasn’t willing to spend time at the bottom rung of the ladder, getting dirty and sweaty in some restaurant’s kitchen or catering hall.  I will always have a deep passion for fine dining, and even not-so-fine dining.  I’ll always be a foodie…but someday I’ll just be helping people live better in terms of food.  Rather than simply placing “good eats” in front of them, I’ll be able to help them.  How cool is that?  Very cool, I think! Don’t get me wrong, I will still put butter in my mashed potatoes and still churn out hundreds of Christmas cookies every year. And then there’s bacon (Say it with me: Mmmm… bacon…) But woo hoo I finally have a PLAN!  I am 75% Type A, I need a plan.  I’m psyched, really.
  • My third and final session of my back tattoo will be completed on June 4th.  Hooray!

So that’s what’s happening.  Bullet points are supposed to be succinct, aren’t they?  Oh well.  Thanks for reading!

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I have zero recollection of writing this, but evidently I typed this on my Facebook Wall last night:

Sometimes as my insomnia meds kick in, I get wild visual hallucinations that make me see and feel things out of the norm. Rite now I would swear this phone is made out of play dough and the baby monitor just said “Rodney!”

I take 20mg of Zaleplon (generic Sonata) for insomnia and boy are they fun! Laughing out loud.

In case I’ve never mentioned my ethnic background here, my mom is white but my father was native american and puerto rican (he died in the 80’s.  Don’t feel bad, I don’t…). Well, my mom unearthed a pic of  the two of them from the 70’s!  I thought I would share… she says I have his eyes.

My mother and the sperm donor

My mother and the sperm donor

… and here is a pic of my Mom, sister and I from a couple years ago. It was the only one I could find of the 3 of us, but you can see the family resemblence.

Mom, me and sistagirl

Mom, me and sistagirl

i haven’t search such intense, creative and wickedly fresh music to groove to since hearing Zero 7 for the first time all those years ago. first, i have to highlight how awesome blip.fm is (check me out!)… talk about a new wave of social networking! i’ve found it to be a cross between twitter and songerize, and have discovered some really fabulous artists in the process – wax tailor coming with a quick “oh yes i have to have that!” reaction. i’ve only downloaded one wax tailor album so far but i’m totally hooked.  the sound is trippy and melodic with hip hop, jazz and general quirkiness overtones.  i love it.

check:

(not really a video but just listen)

Here’s a little story about experiences with our first car.  Mine was, needless to say, memorable…

(Thanks Cecily for the inspiration!)

My first car was a 1990-something Chevy Beretta. It was the King of the Hydroplane… hated driving that thing when it rained. It’s got quite a history, including a rather embarrassing story that happened to me while I was in college. It was Halloween, and there was essentially a campus-wide party. I met a cute kid who said he was visiting his cousin from the military, and that he was 20 years old (I was drunk/high enough that I believed him). We dated a bit and one day I, very stupidly, let him borrow my car. Well, as I mentioned, the Beretta had a bit of a hydroplaning issue. It turns out that my new little boyfriend had skidded into another car while he was making a left turn, at what I can only assume was way too fast a speed. But that’s not the best part… no… that came when the owner of the car he hit called me to discuss insurance policies, and said “You know, your boyfriend looks awfully familiar. How did you say you met him?” I told her my side of the story to which she replied, “You might want to check on that. My daughter (who was in the car with her at the time) recognized him from her school”. Her HIGH SCHOOL. I was a junior in college and fucking MORTIFIED. Turns out he was a senior in high school and had only just turned 17 a few weeks ago (which, despite my humiliation, explained why he could screw like a house afire). That was the end of that relationship, but not the Beretta, which sustained enough damage to not be worth the repair. I drove that busted up vehicle for another 2 years or so, cursing under my breath every time I saw its bashed in quarter-panel. It got progressively worse, too… so bad I had it held together with tie wraps. The final straw came when I was flying down the highway and the hood somehow disengaged and slammed against my windshield, leaving me trying to navigate through the little gap it left between the dashboard. It was a miracle I never got seriously injured, at least… besides my pride!